Thinking about God during Mass this morning. Nothing like troubles and problems to turn the mind to transcendental matters and fundamental questions. What individuates God? It suddenly struck me that it is the body which individuates us. If no body, what happens to the soul? Rahner, I remember discusses this in one of his books. He said that after death the soul still bears a transcendental relationship to the body until the last day and the general resurrection. St. Paul talks about a spiritual body – whatever that means. The real answer is that neither knows and instead of really addressing the problem of a bodiless spirit they suppose a body substitute which will somehow individuate the soul. The problem remains though and it applies to God. How does an infinite pure spirit relate to the universe, to us? It is hard to avoid pantheism. What is the difference between pantheism and pan-en-theism? Is it more than playing with words? If God is really infinite there cannot exist anything which is not God, or of God. Perhaps this is the difference between pantheism and pan-en-theism – the difference between what is God and what is of God.
The other thing that struck me was knowing, what it means to know, to observe, to see. Each person opens out onto and can see, grasp, something of the infinity of the cosmos. I am a centre of awareness which can somehow hold the immense and awesome vastness of the universe. This also works the other way. Each person opens into infinite depths – it is not possible, ever, to get to the bottom of a person; mainly I think because there is no hard, irreducible kernel that is me, or I, but each of us is a nexus of relationships, each relationship opening out into another person.
The more I think about these questions the more I wonder about death. I am not sure what I believe any more. It is strange being in Mass and listening to the metaphors and religious language of the Bible and the liturgy. It would be nice to have a simple faith. I can see why there has always been such a strong anti-intellectual element in the Church. I can also see why the Buddhist tradition places so much emphasis on meditation. Words are not adequate, nor are simple concepts.