Yesterday was a glorious day, warm and sunny. I went for a long walk down the field at the back and along the sea wall. The tide was almost in, very still, with barely a ripple on the water. Just a few noisy seagulls feeding and the silence, which was almost palpable. I keep coming back to this search for the ground of being, for God, for want of a better word. I have touched it once or twice in the past, twice – both very different and yet, not dissimilar. Krisnamurti says that if we can give an answer to the question – what is it we are searching for? – then it is clear we are not searching for something new, but only for something old, something we can recognise. At this point the language of logic and rational thought falls away. No, I do not know what it is that I am searching for and yet I know I will recognise it when I find it. It will be new, new to me, and yet, I will know that I have always known it.
How can I say these things? They do not make sense, not in a logical sense. Yet the nature of reality cannot fully be described in either logical or mathematical terms. Walking on down to the beach – the tide was almost full, the sea very calm, with the faintest of breezes. There were two white-sailed yachts far out. It was very beautiful and peaceful. Coming on to the beach, with the bright sun on the water and the sound of the wavelets was, in a sense, an arrival, a terminus. The symbolism of the sea is very powerful and it makes an impact at many levels. How is it one can sit and watch the sea for hours? Why does the sound of water have such a calming, soothing effect? The sea speaks to the depths.